| Wow! Its been forever! |
[Jan. 22nd, 2008|10:26 pm] |
Hello! It has been FOREVER since I have written on Livejournal!
Thank you to Brian for reminding me that Livejournal still exsists!
Anyways, About me : I am Shelly, I am 21 years old and I live in Blaine Minnesota! I work fulltime at Walgreens in Coon Rapids, Minnesota! I live at home with my Mom, Dad, Older sister, Older brother, Younger brother, our family dog Maggie and the 2 silly cats, Casshe and Moo.
I know this isnt some kinda dating service, but its been forever since I have written, so I just thot id update!
The past 3 years has been very interesting for me! I quit working at K-Mart and gladly got employed at Walgreens. I have been employed at Walgreens for 2 years now! I love my job so much! I work in the photo lab, on the floor, and sometimes on register 1. My job means the world to me.
Life has changed so much, and the past 3 years are going to be hard to remember, but I know without God, I couldn't have made it as far as I did.
As many of you know, I dropped out of high school in May of 2005, I dropped out for so many reasons, one of which my backpack got stolen! Since than, I have been working, hanging out with friends, and enjoying my life as much as I can.
2006:
Sometime in the year Steph and I had become friends again! it was funny how it happend, but I thank GOD that her and I are friends again! I dont know what I would do without her! Thank you GOD!
In June of 2006 I puchased a brand new car, a 2006 Chevy Colbalt, 2 door SE coupe. Most of my friends hate my car because its so cramped, but I think its a nice sized car! 2006 was definatly a year to remember! In August I had turned 20, nothing exciting. September 30th, 2006 was the one year anniversary of me starting at walgreens! I was so proud of my accomplishment!
The holidays of that year, as usual, were hard for me and my family! In December we honored and rememberd our dearest Aunt Bonnie who past away December 20th, 2002! ( R.I.P).
But we love her so much and miss her more than anything in the world!
The new year had crossed over and yet again that year I sat home, sad, lonely and depressed!
2007:
January of 2007 wasnt all that interesting, just worked as usual and didnt really do much that month! Just hung out with friends!
In March we took our first over night road trip up to hinckley! Me, Jessica, Steph, had a great time! I also went to the Newsboys concert with Steph, Jeremy, Jon, and Bryce! It was awesome!!! Thank you STephy!
April 29th, 2007 was my sisters 23rd birthday, We had a hotel party, which was super fun! That was the day that I met my good friend Katy Flaherty! Thank you so much Brandon for introducing her to me :)
July My older bro had turned 22 and 6 days later he would pass the lucky number 21 on to me! I had also gone to SonShine Festival in Wilmar! Sonshine was amazing and it was my first year going! I look forward to next year. We had camped for 5 nights and it was the best experience ever....I had something to look foward to when we came home........
August 1st I had turned 21! Yay!! Also, The 35W bridge had collapsed and so many lives were changed! God bless all those familys!
September 30th 2007 was my 2 year anniversary for Walgreens! Without that Job, I dont know where I would be today!
October was in interesting month, but nothing really happend, but I hung out with friends and it was freezing cold that month
In November, My good friend Brandon had left for Basic training. He is in the Army National Gaurd!
My family and I had celebrated Thanksgiving! It was one the best Thanksgiving I have ever had in my life!
December 20th Brandon came home from basic training for 2 weeks! It was so good to see him and we had hung out like everynite! December 20th also was the 5 year anniversary of my aunts death! it was sad :(
Christmas came and flew by like nothin happend. It was an ok christmas, went to my uncles house in forest lake on christmas eve, nothin to shabby tho!
Newyears was alright, I had nothing to do and i was bored, So i spent my newyears eve with Brandon!
2008:
The new year has been great so far! January 1st my lil bro turned 20! Brandon left for AIT training January 2nd, and he will be back in April!
These past few weeks have been by far very interesting! But the new year got started off on the right page!
In my free time, I try to make the most of what time I have, I like to hang out with friends and do random crazy things.
I have been working alot, as for I am really stressed out! I still go to church on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings.
The past 3 years have really changed. God has blessed me so much with wonderful friends, a well paying job, a house to live in, and so much more. I have learned alot about myself and about life in general. We shouldn't always take for granted what we have because someone else could have it so much worse than we could. I have always been a strong believer in quote " Everything happens for a reason". Its true. Everything does happen for a reason and we should always believe that! My life may not be the greatest, But I know i am grateful to have the blessings that God has given me and to always cherish everymoment.
Life is not going to be perfect for anybody, and with me, being 21, working fulltime and trying to maintain my social life, its hard. I am so stressed out! Everyone always wants to hang out and I just cant do it at times. I love the friends that I have I really do! God has given me so much and I wish there was a way to thank Him for everything He has given to me. I have also learnd that stupid people who cause drama...we should always love on them no matter what because they could have it so much more worse than anybody else. We should love on everybody no matter who they are. Its not always going to be easy living by faith in an uncertain world, but if we keep believeing in ourselves and in God and the faith that we have each and everyday will go by so much better.
The 21st century is so much different than it was back than. I have come to realize that no matter what people tell you, never listen to them, always stick true to your heart and what you believe! So much competetion out there, so much drama, we have to live by faith!
The war in iraq is the stupidest, most immature thing in the whole world! I kid you not! Fighting is not always they way out and maybe if Bush would realize that, our troops wouldnt be dieing every day! When I voted, I will admit, I voted for bush, but who knew he was going to ruin everyone's lives for the rest of the 21st century! I hate the war, its stupid! Support the troops, just not the war! Guns kill people, people dont kill people ! and maybe if bush would realize that, than this world wouldnt be so uncertain!
ANyways, I have so many amazing friends: Jackie, James,Steph,Katy, Brian,Josh, Ben... and so many others ....
These people have taught me what it means to live life to the fullest, to have fun, and to not let the little things bother us! Thank you all for being there for me whenever I have needed you the most!! Life has been so much better and I thank GOD for all of you each and everyday! We have had some crazy memories together ( Steph & Katy) and I hope there are more to come. Brian, I am thankful for your friendship and thanks for letting go of the past and for giving me another chance to be your friend! THe past is the past, and we all need to learn from it and move on and not let it bother us or let it come back to haunt us!
Anyways, my fingers are going to fall off and I have an early morning!
Thanks for reading my livejournal entry!
God bless
Shelly
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| Long time no write..... |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|04:07 pm] |
October 12th,2005.
Wow its been such a long time since I have written. it has been a long 4 months. alot has happend recently. God has really blessed my life and has done some really awesome things. I recently had gotten blessed with a fulltime job at Walgreens. Its the best place ever. I like it so much. I work in the photo lab. Yesterday tuesday oct 11th, was my one year anniversary at kmart. Nothing to be proud of, but hey at least i made it a year. I was excited. I have been hangin out w/ mikey alot. Hes such a great guy! I thank God for our friendship. I have been workin alot and goin to church. church is awesome I love it.! These past few weekends we have been hanging out with jon and jeremy. Such wonderful people of God. Well i gotta get goin. Sorry so short.
GOd bless |
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| " For God So Loved The World He Gave His Only Son" John 3:16 |
[Jun. 29th, 2005|11:40 am] |
Wow its been so long since I have written in this journal. Its because I have been so busy with work and family. Too keep everyone updated, I just got back from a church retreat to milwaukee wisconsin. It was so fun. God really moved in me and he touched my heart. I could feel it. I am healed forever. The preacher was awesome. He taught us to have compassion, to let the past be the past, and to love God from now until Eternity. My 2 best friends in the whole world were on the retreat as well. It was awesome. Shout out to steph and martha : God really moved in us...thanks for such a fun time! I love ya guys! We were so excited for this trip to come that things just seemed to go wrong on thursday. It was horrible. THe brakes went out on the bus that we took down there. There were 5 other busses that were ahead of us. It was fusterating because we had to sit on the bus for an hour in the heat and with 70 other people. it was fusterating. We had such a long ride ahead of us. But in the end we realized that sometimes its the journey not the destination. I missed all my friends so much. I missed my family alot too.
But I gotta get going, sorry this is so short. :(
Kmart needs me to work :)
im happy!
God Bless ya! |
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| Life is such a journey........ |
[May. 14th, 2005|12:40 am] |
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Doesnt that suck when you make a decision that can really affect your future? Yeah, ive done that. On Tuesday(may 9th) I pretty much started my summer vacation early. I did what I didn't want to do.....Drop out of high school. Now I feel like a total failure, a loser, a stupid person with no future and I feel like I get looked down upon. I let everyone down, I know I did. The person I let down the most was my mom, she believed in me and always wanted what was best for me, even if it wasnt my best, she still had faith.With out her, I dont know where I would be. I also let myself down, knowing that I could of done better in school I could of cared more about school than work or anything else. But now....... here I sit, really depressed typing in my live journal about how much my life sucks and what I did to screw myself up. I hate myself really I do, I hate what has gone on in life and I hate the decisons I have made. I have nothing to do during the day, I dont have a full time job, I dont have my dipoloma, I dont have anything. One thing in my life that I really truely wanted (besides my license) was my diploma. I counted on myself for getting that, I looked forward to the day of graduation...but when a letter was sent home to my house saying that I failed the 12th grade and wouldnt be able to be at graduation with the class of 2005 on June 9th, my heart just broke and tears filled my eyes like never before. I was sad, disapointed and let down. I still am. I hate myself for what has happend. If I could do anything to change my past...it would be how I felt about school. I was never good at school and I never got good grades... I was never on the A honor roll like my brother has been on ever since his freshman year, i have never dreamed about having a career in going to school, like college. School was just something I did'nt really care about, but comming to think about it...Senior year is the year that everyone looks forward too...its the year that we are supposed to have fun..and relax because school is almost over. Well...I didnt have that. Homecomming was a huge wreck, I lost a meaningful friendship that meant the whole entire world to me, I had all my friends turn against me. I was getting blamed for actions that I didnt do. Is the the typcial senior year that everyone should have? Im not saying that senior year has to be perfect, but it should be memorable and fun. I have ruined my life now, so I plan on getting my GED. Its 1:10 in the morning...everyone in my house is sleeping...mom,dad,sister,brothers,dog and here I am typing in my live journal expressing how depressing my life is. I have a computer in my room so I do not have to worry about waking anyone up. I guess all I can do is learn from my mistakes...learn that with mistakes there is always a penalty and my penalty is not graduating. Graduation was so important to me, it was something I had a desire to do, it was something that I looked forward to. All my friends and I had even planned to still be friends after graduation. Everyone is talking about graduation..how they are so happy...so excited for this huge event...so thrilled and happy for all their achievements. What do I have to look forward to? a summer working and studying for my GED. Everyone is having a graduation party....what do I get? a pitty party!. I am just so highly depressed that even after wednesdays when I give my heart to the Lord and repent my sins..I still feel like really sad. My heart has been broken so many times...not meaning my guys...but by my friends. I cant trust anyone that I used to trust before. I cant even trust myself. Oh well, i guess shit happens right? I just dont know anymore...Im tired of feeling so sad all the time.. I just want my old life back..My life where I wasnt sad, where I knew things were going to be ok, but I guess the thing that has gotten to me the most is the fact that im not graduating. The other most important person that I let down was my aunt..who from heaven, sees every move I make, she is so dispointed in me and I knwo I let her down. She always wanted what was best for her neices and nephews...she always had the faith and condfidence of us doing our best. Granted she was really ill.....she still lived life to the fullest. She planned on being at all of our graduations before she passed away...and thats one thing that hurts alot..is a promise that got broken....from someone who you really loved and cared about..and who loved and cared about you.....alot! Im sorry auntie :( My mom tells me all the time that Im not a failure..I think iam. I failed my drivers test 4 times! boy am I ashamed. But im lucky I passed. I failed kindergarten..had to be held back...people look at me like im some kinda idiot. Im not getting anywhere at my job, Im pointless. :( I hate the way my family is..I dont like what goes on in my family...we are not a " family" any more. Life at home has really changed. Sister is working full time...goin to college. Brother is workin full time and is home like 3 times a week...hates my dad. And younger brother is usually never home till about 5..and thats when I have to be to work most days. Dad is working part time..and mom is working full time. But we all fight so much, feelings get hurt and things are said that arent ment. Its crazy..and I hate life.
But its going on 1:30..I should really get going. Always live life to the fullest. as I type this....there are tears running down my face..and sadness in my heart. WHere was God when I needed him the most?
Love yall..
Shelly |
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| A month & 5 days later................ |
[May. 5th, 2005|01:43 pm] |
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"Sometimes when life gets us down, we just need to step back up and get going, when the tough gets going, the going gets tough," I was always told that by my mom. My mom is my inspiration and my cheer leader. She has been there for me and for my family through everything. Mothers day is on Sunday..and boy I cant think of anything to get her. I have a card, but I feel that its not good enough. My mom deserves so much more than just a card, she deserves to have the best day of her life.
Anyways, Life has been a huge journey with an ending thats going to be awesome. God has a huge plan for my life, but I dont know what that plan is and I would like to know what it is. God has been there for me thru everything. He is my way, my life my truth and my source! I look up to Him everyday and pray to him. But somedays I wonder why I believe in God. My prayers never really get answered, even if they do get answered, they never go right. I want my prayers to be answered right and to have a happy ending. If things happen for a reason.....Why do dumb things happen? I wonder why things happen. Are friendships ment to be ruined by a certain person? Reasons for everything is a tough belief. Next month my church and I go on a huge retreat, to Milwaukee Wisconsin, Im hoping that God will change my life even more and that I will expierence his love through out the trip. Im so excited, and granted the bus ride is going to be long and boring......9 hours pfft!! but still, some times its the journey, not the destination.
K-mart has really been pissing me off. The new girl, Pamela, has been working there for almost a month and shes already going to be a supervisor. Im so tired of all the new people getting to be supervisors. They screw up all the time. I know what im doing..but nooo!! if kmart hates me..than why dont they just fire me?
well its almost time to go really it is....
I will try to write later.
God bless |
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| Hey Journal |
[Apr. 1st, 2005|09:34 pm] |
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Hey Journal-
In exactly 4 months I will be 19! just seems like I turned 18 :(
Anyways,I didnt go to school today because I had no ride. Being I have no car, I have to rely on other people to take me to work and school :-( that makes me so mad. I hate relying on other people. Well I went and visited my car today at the auto body shop and boy I could say.... I just broke down into tears. My sister as well was sad because that was her first car for 3 years straight. We had sooo many memories in that car like shoving 10 people in the car, going to football games,silly stringing the car for homecomming, throwing eggs out the windows and getting eggs all over the car, going to outtings with friends,driving it to the cabin in wisconsin..than hitting a log because swerved for a deer. Its like that car was our best friend. She was devastated. She was like " oh thats my first car blah blah" im like " yeah i know " She put all her savings into that car, so she was sad to see it go. Im more sad than anything because I dont have transportation for like the next few days :( OH WELL! Many people have told me that car is just a piece of tin. Well that piece of tin gets you back and forth to work, and places you wanna go. You get so attached to it that when it leaves, its hard to see it go. I just worked so hard to accomplish what I want, and I get what I want and crap just seems to go wrong. It just aint fair. Oh well. I have to work tommorrow 4:30-10:30, it sucks, I hate closing, but Keshaun and Jodi always make it fun, I dont really like working with Beth, but she can be cool at times. I worked last nite and boy was it a long nite, but Jodi and Keshaun worked so that was pretty fun. Towards the end of the nite we were so boared that we were screwing around at like service desk and stuff. Im just so sad right now, I mean why does everything bad always happen to me? It just aint fair at all and im confused at somethings. Everyone at work keeps telling me that this one kid Brent likes me. I dont think he does..but ive had like 5 people tell me that he likes me...because he cant make direct "eye to eye" contact. Big deal??? lol Oh well
Brian has been super cool during this hassle right now for me. Granted he has been sayin crap bout me that aint true, but thats all just a joke. But hes been there for it all and gosh, I dont know where I would be without him. God has also been there for me..I look up to him every single day and ask him for forgiveness and happieness.
Oh well, I should get going.
God Bless.
PS.JOE-- I would really appreciate it if you wouldnt read my journals. They are highly personal and really none of your business. THanks for understanding and God bless you! |
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[Mar. 30th, 2005|04:36 pm] |
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Hello Journal-
What a journey its going to be these next few weeks. I was driving down Bunker Lake Blvd, going home, it was a normal day, well I was doing the speed limit wich was 50, So I was doin about 45, well all of a sudden the lady in front of me did a sudden stop and BOOM!! I hit her. Turns out she stopped to let some jay walkers cross. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad. I couldnt believe that she let some jaywalkers cross. Its illegal to jaywalk. My whole car is totaled, Im so angry with myself and with the lady who stopped. Im already sick of people driving me around, and picking me up taking me places. This all happend on Monday. Right now, im just an emotional wreck. I just dont know what to do anymore. School is starting to fall apart. Im failing big time and dropping out is the like best solution. I got my license in November, and ever since than I have had horrible luck. I got screwed over the first time with the Lumina. Than I got the taurus,which I was told was a good car....wrong! i was falsely informed. Than now i have no car, im so sick of people driving me around :( i just want my freedom.
Me dropping out of school is not the best solution i realized, but I have to do whats best for me. I am totally miserable at STEP, I hate it sooooooooooooooooo much, I dont like it! I was always told that senior year is supposed to be one of the best, well I guess that didnt happen for me. Where is God when I need him? gosh! lol GOd blessed me on MOnday, he totally saved my life and sent an angel down from heaven to watch over me. At first i didnt believe in angels..but than I realized angels are sent by God to help save us. Im like yay!! lol
Anyways, I should get going. My friend will be here shortly to pick me up :-/. I hate being picked up I really do.
I just wanna say THANK YOU, to Brian...Thanks Brian for being so supportive thru all this. I knew I could always count on you.
God Bless this Journal as always. |
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| Long time no write....lol |
[Mar. 17th, 2005|01:48 pm] |
Wow, its been awhile since I have written.
Right now I am in English Class. We are working on somethings that are really hard and confusing to do. Life has been awesome lately. God had really blessed my life. Last night was Church. Church is awesome. Im a little ticked off at Brian. He was there at service last nite, than bam, he up and left during the service. If he has no respect for me or for church, than thats totally fine. His friend Jeozero came in, rudely interupted me and keshaun and Brandon, and abducted Brian. He just up and left, I was like what the heck??
Anyways,i should get goin
I will write later |
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| Today....... |
[Feb. 25th, 2005|01:19 pm] |
Today is sorta an OK day. For some reason today, I ve been feeling really sad and mad. I dont know why im feeling this way, but it happens. I just dont feel good at all. I ve been following God ever since I have gotten back from the retreat, but I just dont know about everything else. Its like God is with me, but yet its like God wants me to live a crappy life. Ive been thinking as well, If things happen for a reason, or there is a reason to EVERYTHING, than why did my sisters car get hit? was she in the wrong place at the wrong time? was it ment to happen? or was it just pure dumb luck? I just dont know. Why is life such a hassle at Kmart? is it ment to be crappy? We choose to beleive that there is a reason to everything, but sometimes I wonder why I believe that. Anyways, I didnt actually know how annoying a person can be until you put up with them every single day of the school year! lol This girl, Crystal is soooooooooo annoying. We are good friends and all, but she is just way too annyoing and she just thinks she knows it all. But thats life, we all put up with annoying people. My happiness is found in less of me and more of God. Everyday its God I live for. God is what gets me moving everyday and gets me to be who I wanna be. But today, im just not feelin God. I know he loves me so much, but today, I just dont feel his love :( where is the love? But oh well.
Anyways school is so boring today. Its been a long week! lol Wednesday was the best nite of all. Brian came to church on Wednesday, he didnt seem to interested in being there. But im glad he came. he was also text messaging his friend during the service! I almost slapped him! lol
Anyways,
I should get going. I have to do some stuff for class.
I will write later. |
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| Wow its been awhile........... |
[Feb. 17th, 2005|01:23 pm] |
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Hey Journal,
Boy its been awhile since I have written. Im going to go in order of the events that have gone on these past few months.
Well first of all, its been so long since I have written because I have been extremely busy.
To start with, my car went to be with God. Poor car :( That car caused me so many problems. I had to be towed up at least 2 times a week because It would die on me and wouldnt start. So I got a new old car. My sister got a new Chevy 2005 Malibu and I had gotten her old car. So minus the problems i have with the car I have now, driving has been pretty fun. The old car, Lumina, is at home in our garage waiting for my younger brother to drive it. He is still on his permit and took his drivers test once and failed. poor kid :(
Iam still employed at K-Mart but I am really thinking about quitting because I have another job. Subway in Lino Lakes. Its a great place to work, I like it alot. K-mart is just ripping me off hours, I work only like 2 days a week, so not fair. :( I still babysit every Friday night.
This past weekend (feb 11th-13th) I went on a church retreat. We went to the ARC, in Oseeolia Wisconsin. It was an awesome retreat. I have really been connected to God ever since I have gotten back from the retreat. God really touched my heart in so many ways. Friday night we left and got to the ARC at like 5:45. At 7:00 we had dinner, 7:30 was pre-service prayer and at 8:00 was the service. The serivce was about judgement. IT was awesome. The next morning ( saturday) we had to be up bright and early. 8:30 we had breakfast, than from 9:00-10:45 we had Solitude, an hour of silence. We had to do 4 worksheets and we wrote the answers down in our journals. The worksheets were all about God, it was awesome. Solitude was great. Than from 11:00-12:00 we had Cell Group time, we worked on our Midnight Variety Shows. 12:30 was lunch and than from 1:00-5:00 we had free time, we coulda done whatever we wanted. So me and Steph and 2 other girls and a guy named Chris all hung out street for a little bit than went to our rooms and relaxed for a bit. 5:00-6:00 was Cell group time again..and at 6:30 was pre serivce prayer, 7:00 was service. The service ended about 9:30. It was long, but went fast. Than from 9:45-11:00 we worked on our mid night variety shows. I think we did really awesome. The cell Group KZP won the variety show, but its more than just winning its the effort we put in to it. Sunday, We had communion in the Tabernacle and than it was time to go home. I was really sad to go, but I knew that when I left, my relationship with God was totally different. So thats prettty much the recap of my weekend. It was awesome.
This week has been awesome. I have been so full of God. Last night church was great. Brian let me down by not comming, but thats alright because its not like its the end of the world. I wasnt mad or disapointed I was just kinda shocked. But ya know what? God still loves him. Also last nite, my sister got into a car accident. I freaked out so much. I didnt know what happend. Her new car had gotten wrecked, but its still drivable. Thank GOD nothing happend to her. Our brother was with her as well.
Anyways, My dad is finally working now :D He works at 3M...the Eagan campus. He gets good pay and its great. I am so happy that he is now working. I havent seen him much, thats because he works nights, but life at home has been alot better at home because he is gone at night. I actually look forward to going home.
Well I should get going. Its been an extremely long day.........Im not feeling great to start out with. I tihnk im getting a cold :( not good.
So I will try to write tommorrow if I get the chance.
God Bless this Journal. |
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| Today...... |
[Jan. 3rd, 2005|03:36 pm] |
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Today is Monday. Thank god im not working tonight because im sure its going to be moody monday again! I was in K-Mart today to talk to the HR manager about some problems and she wasnt there! I was so pissed! I just dont care anymore..seriously! I go to work to work, not to fuck around and worry about problems! JEEZ!!! Im just so fusturated and fed up w/ Kmart. My 90 days is up! Ive put up with 90 days of bullshit at Kmart, I think its time to quit! lol My review is comming up, yay!!!!!
Anyways, I woke up late this morning, it was crazy actually! LoL I woke up at 7:35. I had my alarm set, but it didnt go off for some reason! I was supposed to drop my brother off at school but that didnt turn out to happen :( but oh well. I over slept because i was so used to sleeping in. Having a week off can brainwash us!
Well im so tired right now. Just plain out tired! im so beat, i just wish I could drive away and never come back...im stressed and hurt emotionally! it just aint very fair what Brian did to back stab me...i hope he realizes what he did to hurt me! but im so sick of the bullshit that goes on at Kmart. I have to talk to the human resources manager about some problems that have been going on...its NOT about Brian, so whatever is said about him im going to defend because I would feel really horrible to see him get in trouble! Granted he still backstabbed me, i still care for him and I would hate to see him lose his job because some people were sayin shit.
But I should get goin,
God, Bless this journal please!
God Bless always,
Love, Shelly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Happy New Year!!!!!!! |
[Jan. 1st, 2005|12:45 am] |
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Happy New Year!
2005! All new year to start over fresh!
2004 didnt end too well at all. I was at work and everything was fine up until Cindy told me that she needed to talk to me! I was like ok! Cindy, like others, played that childish game "he said, she said". She told me that Lee told her things that wernt so nice! I was like wtf! Brian on the other hand, is a prick! All of his friends brainwashed him in to believeing that Im a bad person, when really im NOT! Brian really hurt me and made me feel really bad. At work, he was talking all this shit about me that was so uncalled for! Cindy was even siding w/ Brian! I was like dude! One of us is evenutally going to lose our jobs....and im hoping its brian! because after all he does..wich is nothing....he shouldnt have a job! hes lazy..it takes him like 4 hours just to close ceasers! I seriously dont know what I did to him that he backstabbed me and used me! I honestly think it was him that broke into my car and took my stuff! I dont care if he denies it or whatso....I still think it was him that did it! I just dont get what I did to him that he treated me like shit! im so confused!
Anyways, work is work and boy I could say, im so fusterated and fed up w/ Kmart, its just not fair! I was supposed to get off at 9:00, but was pretty much forced into staying! Lee didnt have anybody to stay until 10:00 and I felt bad for him so I stayed! I just didnt think Lee was one to talk shit about me....and he did...tonight! he told Cindy all this shit about me...that mostly isnt true! but whatever! 2005 is going to be a great year..im going to make it best, I dont care what people do or say or think! Its my opinins that matter the most!
Well, Im going to bed, ive had a long day,
God Bless this journal!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Wow |
[Dec. 29th, 2004|10:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
Hello Journal;
Hows it going?
Lately things have really been sucky! Ive been working ALOT. I mean I dont mind it, but its just crazy! Monday at work really sucked, everyone was in such a bad mood, it was like moody monday! But im glad that day is over with. Tuesday I got called into work, wich was fine because I need the hours, but I was really tired that day. Monday nite me and my sister went to hang out at perkins with our friend Richie and his sister (my good friend) Eden. We sat around, played cards, and just talked. We had alot to catch up on! Lately Ive been getting an attitude from BRIAN! He just really pissed me off and hurt me big time. He gave his friends his cell phone...and his friends have been text messageing me all these nasty messages! Im so mad at him! His friends are telling me that he wants nothing to do with me and all that crap, well if thats the case...than he could at least tell me to my face instead of having his friends tell me! JEEZ!!! What have I done to him to deserve this attitude from his friends?? they dont even fucking know me! But whatever......i dont care! Everyone always talks crap about me even though im really NICE to them ( ahem BRIAN)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But anyways,
2004 was a great year none the least, but its just that it went way to fast! 2005...a whole new year to start over and to forget. God blesses us everyyear. Im looking forward to whats going to happen in 2005. It should be a good year none the less.
Work has been sucky, Ever since Lee got the supervisor position, he has been nothing but a prick! Im serious! Its like kmart has gone downhill ever since he has started! Its not fair really!!! Ive been there 3 months..and still have shitty checkouts! I think I qualify to be a supervisor..but nooooooooooooooooooo
whatever I dont care!
I should get going!
God bless this journal
God bless
Church was awesome tonight by the way! lol
Good nite! |
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| Merry Christmas! |
[Dec. 25th, 2004|02:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
Merry Christmas!!!
Its hard to believe that its Christmas again! Seems just like yesterday it was the start of 2004! Boy I could say...what a year its been. My family and I have been through so much this past year. With the new year comming, its time to start over, new beginnings and new blessings! Its great! Im just kinda blah today. Just really bored. But im glad I have at least one day off of work! I think I have Monday and Tuesday off as well. Thank God! Im just worried about losing my job because I know the manager is firing people after the christmas season, because some people were only hired for seasonal help. I would really miss Kmart if I were fired. But I dont think that is going to happen. Its been 3 months so far and its been a great 3 months. Granted things didnt start out right, but things got better as the months went on. Well anyways, it just feels so great to just sit at home and do nothing! I missed my family so much. My older brother is comming home around 5:00 to be home for dinner, that makes me feel so much better! Me and my younger bro and my sister are all going to make cookies later on :D so thats something great to look forward to. Granted Christmas really sucks, its just a natural part of life. Life is ment to suck!
My dads birthday is tommorrow and I have nothing for him..I mean I have a card for him, but thats pretty much it, im sure that would matter the most to him if I gave him a card. Im going to pick something up from work tommrrow after I get off :D so that should be great.
Anyways, it just feels so great to spend the day with my family and to just sit at home. Because I can get my room cleaned and just relax. Work is really stressing me out. But family is just a huge part of my life thats all. Brian, im sorry for everything. Im sorry if I spazzed out when you got me something for christmas...i felt horrible. But I really do appreciate it and Thank you for being the coolest person ever!
But i should get going. I have to help my mom with a few things.
So God Bless this journal and Merry Christmas and Happy new Year!!!!!!!!! |
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| life |
[Dec. 24th, 2004|10:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
Wow, its been 5 days since I have written!
Its Christmas eve...and im just sitting here mopeing and thinking about how much life sucks! Christmas doesnt mean anything to me or my family. Its just a holiday where people waste money and have younger kids believe in something that is so totally fake! Emotionally....im just not feeling good! Today at work I was feeling just so crappy! I mean granted Christmas is NOT about presents, and trees and shit, its about family and GIVING to those who mean the world to us! But whatever... its so overrated and will be over with tommorrow nite! :D
Anyways,
Work is just work, its just crazy! I hate it. its the same o same o. some of the cashiers didnt come into work tonight! its depressing how we had to be open on a night like this! its bullshit!
well its been 5 days since I have written! Im so glad I have tomorrow off., i can sleep in and spend time at home....maybe get my room cleaned up! Sunday is my dads birthday, and i feel so bad I didnt get him anything at all :( well besides a card! My younger brothers birthday is january 1st!
Well ive run outta things to talk about!
Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good nite! :D
hope everyones christmas is great...unlike mine! |
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| whew..... |
[Dec. 18th, 2004|11:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | relaxed | ] |
Boy I could say what a night it was. Working 12-9:30 wasn't all that bad at all. I actually enjoyed those hours. I was slapped on register 1 when I got there at noon, register 1 is usually the supervisor register, so everyone was like " call this person" " I need change" blah blah...bullshit! LOL I was freezing cold standing by register 1. Than after I got back from my first 15 minute break, I got slapped on register 9. I hate 9!!! LOL
Anyways,
Its exactly 2 days until the 20th :(. December 20th marks the 2 year death of our favorite Aunt! I know its hard to get over, but it had to happen around Christmas time. Christmas......what the joyful wonders that brings families all over the world! I hate Christmas, its so over rated and so fake. People think that they have to spend money and have huge blow out parties, thats crap! Whatever happend to the real meaning of Christmas? Where is Jesus involved? its crazy. We dont have our tree up, we dont have no money to spend this year. We dont have no Christmas cheer at all. But thats alright. I didnt think people were acutally that thankful for Christmas cards! I gave everyone that I worked with tonight, a christmas card! EVERYONE was like " Thank you for the card" or " I liked the card, thank you" or " it was nice of you to give me a card". Ive never had that said to me before when ive given out cards! :P I did get presents for my family tonight though! I stayed under 20 dollars. I need to get my younger bro something though. I just dont know what. Even though it aint much, its still the thought that counts! screw money!
Well im super tired and im going to bed.
God bless this journal and MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! |
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| wow...... |
[Dec. 17th, 2004|04:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
Wow, people never truly realize how thankful they are for something until they actually expierence it.
Thank God for food shelves. Being we are poor, the food shelves are there to help us out. My dad came home today with 3 boxes of food for us..and food for the dog! :D its great! Thank you food shelves!
Anyways,
School and work has been really stressful these past few days! I just have so much on my mind. Work has been getting me stressed out. All this 11:30 closing bullshit is getting to me. I mean I like staying till 11:30 and all, but its just crazy! Time goes by so fricken slow! but anywho, sorry this is so short, but i gotta get ready for babysitting. Easy money thats for sure..lol! I get 15 dollars for sitting around..money I dont really want...but heck..its tax free! I have like 100 christmas cards to fill out also, so im going to do that tonight as well!
God bless this journal! |
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| **sigh** |
[Dec. 15th, 2004|03:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
Hello Journal.........
Wow, its been like forever since ive written.
Life has been a huge journey these past few weeks. That huge journey started last TUESDAY! Someone broke in to my car and took all of my belongings! I got pulled over by the police last night for fucking doing 55 in a 65 speed zone! it was bullshit and I was fricken pissed off. Than I had to fucking pay $974.23 for my car! it was in the shop the past 2 days so that was really interesting! I found out that my brother got his tongue pierced! I dont know what to think..life has been really interesting. School really fucking sucks....I hate it! I miss all my friends at Blaine and STEP is just a really sucky place. Being that my car got broken into i dont have my back pack any more and that had all my school work in it! :( I havent really talked to Brian at all..which really starts to worry me to a crisp! It makes me feel good to talk to him, but now it just makes me feel like I dont have anyone who cares about me or wants to talk to me!But whatever! I just want him to know that I miss talking to him!
Anyways work really sux right now! For the holiday season, "kmart is open 6am-11pm monday through sunday! thanks for shopping at kmart...have a nice nite" We close at 11pm every nite now. its crazy! ive had to close every single night since i have started. I only get one night a week off, thats wednesdays for church! I babysit every Friday which is alright i guess!
All this christmas stuff is starting to annoy me. Christmas this...christmas that! blah blah! christmas is so fucking over rated! there is really no such fuckin thing as santa and thats because younger kids always come shopping with the parents and that totally spoils everything! I dont like christmas! we dont have our tree up, we dont have any christmas joy at all this year thats because our family has pretty much fallen apart :(, and life just totally stinks! Christmas is just not happening this year. I mean yeah I have cards for people...but as far as family goes......we arent getting a single thing this year...wich is totally fine because I hate christmas! lol
Well anyways, i should get going.
Im going to take a shower, start on the christmas cards, take my brother to his youth group..and than go to my church! CHURCH! church always rocks...it makes my week...and blesses my heart with a whole new perspective! And we can just go there to let go of the extra baggage. So im reall happy its wednesday :D
God bless this journal ALWAYS! |
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| 5 days later.................. |
[Dec. 14th, 2004|10:49 am] |
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Wow its amazing what all can happen in 5 days. Its been an interesting 5 days. I got my car broken into....filthy bastards!!! On saturday and sunday I worked 8 hours because of this petty ass sale that we had. Monday i found out that my car, thats now in the shop, is going to cost me on average $1000. MONEY I DONT HAVE!!!!! bastards!! i dont have any transportation. My car has been in the shop since...uh.....Monday. I should get it back today..if not..im going to be PISSED! well im on a short time im going to write later. I gotta go! |
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| oh my gosh |
[Dec. 9th, 2004|10:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
** Warning, this journal entry may have valgor language, so if you are uncomfortable reading, feel free to stop!
Hey journal,
Yeah, its been like 2 days since ive written, but who really cares? NOT ME!
Anyways, im so pissed off, my car got broken into Tuesday nite at work, some mother fucking bastard broke into my car and took my purse, my backpack, and my 12 pack of MT dew. It happend at work. I have pretty good intentions on who it might be, but im not going to point fingers or blame someone for something they didnt do! I talked to this person and he told me he had no idea it even happend and that hes sorry it happend. He told me that he would help me through all this! I just wanna know that mother fucker took my stuff. My backpack is missing, it had all my school work in there,stuff for work,...etc. My purse is missing. I had my check book in there. We had to go to the bank yesterday and cancel my checking account! Im so mad, its not like they broke my window or somethning, but how they got in my car? i dont fucking know....Do I wanna know? YES! Who did it? I dont know. Why they did it? I dont know! But when I find out, there is seriously going to be an ass kicking. GRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so pissed off, its not even fair.! I work my ass off at Kmart, I fucking come in to work when none of the panzy ass cashiers come in to fucking work, I help others out when needed, and yet..this is how they treat me? I hate everyone at work as of this point! Well except a few people! Brian I dont hate you...and yes you are still on my trust list! Lee,is also on my trust list as well :D!
Well i gotta go
bye! |
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